"Out of the Rut" part 1

Yesterday in class we were given a journal activity entitled "Out of the Rut." The activity consists of two parts, the first part was to address one of three lists of questions. I'm choosing to deal with the questions regarding the reflection aspect of the project.

  One suggestion was to create a list of three problems you have faced thus far, this was one that seemed a bit too easy so I'll chose to ignore that prompt. One of the more thought provoking ones for me was the list of three things I have learned about others while working on my project. The first thing I learned about others is that many of my friends are very cooperative and helpful in completing my project. My friends acting in the film have gone out of their way to help me produce my film. The second thing I have learned is that other friends of mine have been incredibly difficult to work with, I suppose you can't expect everyone to want to help out. The third thing I have learned about others is that a lot of my friends actually enjoy acting and seeing the film come together. With no means of payment I started by having to explain it to my friends as requesting a favor yet now after some completed filming I've found many people getting actively involved and enjoying the process. 

   With all the anxiety surrounding this project I thought it may be helpful to think about the things I enjoy about my project. After thinking on it, it seems that I enjoy just about all the hands on work in my project. I like acting, writing, filming, directing, and editing. I assumed somewhere along the way I'd be tasked with something I'd dislike yet so far that has not been the case. The things I find troubling in the project are not related to what I'm required to do, it all comes from being in place where I can't progress with my project. I hate not being able to do the work that I know is ahead of me. The other largest thing that I dislike in the project is the deadline. Now obviously it has to exist but for me, when doing creative work, the best product comes from the situation where my only motivator is a desire to work on the project. When I add a deadline or an expected outcome it becomes a different experience for me.

   I suppose the most important piece to reflect on is what I have learned about myself in this project. I don't know that I have a list. What I have learned about myself is, that when doing work in a field I thoroughly enjoy my work ethic entirely changes from the norm. Much of high school my academic performance has been sub par. This was often because I would grow overwhelmed and simply stop completing work as to avoid facing the workload. With this project I am almost always tasked with a large workload yet to this point I have continued to do what is expected of me and continue to enjoy it. It's a comforting sign as I attempt to go into the field of writing. I suppose that's enough reflection for the time being.